my life in 5 mins

Here's the breakdown of my life in as simply as i can put it .

1) I haven't dated in ages
2) My ass is getting less attractive
3) My intelligence sends out unfriendly vibes
4) My dog stares at my food and only at my food
5) My parents are tired of nagging at me
6) My friends are all getting hitched
7) Guys are all turning gay around me
8) Clothes on me are all a fashion disaster even Chanel can't save me
9) My job is as it is .
10) I have yet to move out of my parents' place.

so thats about how my life is . i am a doctor in a hospital. i have 2 interns under me so basically i have the time to talk about my life while they are cleaning guts out. (literally, 2 patients just came in that required some guts flushing and pumping)

so let's see i work more than 80 hours a week, i basically stay in the hospital more than anywhere else which explains why i don't see the need to get out of my parents' place.

Sometimes i think i am dating my dog, when i get home i hop on my bed with gus and he would sleep by my side. In the morning, he lingers his nice doggy morning breath above my face to wake me up for work. i get up give him a kiss on his forehead, and he walks to the toilet while i wash up. i could say he is the only male species that has seen me naked besides my dad whom changed my diapers when i was younger.

so there you go, the glamorous life of a doctor, you see the disgusting side of humans . You see how humans lie to you about their life and cause you to make a wrong move on the patient. That leads to complications and all because you hide your drug dose or sex life.

your social life revolves people in the hospital -sick or healthy-, it is tragic when the medical fields lacks the superficial layer of looks with all that intelligence going down the drain. I mean whats the point of having the intelligence when you are not even cute enough to start the conversation.

i am of course your average Jane with a high forehead. No i am not bragging on my high intelligence cause you don't need a ton of intelligence to be a doctor , you just have to be able to memorise well and vomit when you see the word "examination".

My forehead is annoyingly high, it is never a contribution to the intelligence but a gentle reminder how normal i look. I am 5 feet 9 inches tall, i wear the normal cat eye spectacles that sits on my narrow nose bridge. My eyes are hazel brown with a tint of grey, and my face is sunken in. overall i look highly malnourished due to the amount of work i do and the lack of food i take.

now don't start on how as a doctor you have to be healthy and all, it is true to a certain extend however when you have 4 surgeries to scrub into, 2 interns to guide , patients to check on there's barely enough time. Thus my daily diet is just my usual tofu and vegetables , yes you are right . I am a vegetarian, meat wasn't so enjoyable when all you see everyday are bloody raw flesh dangling around you as u fix and repair them.

so in conclusion, with a fantastic pay check doctors hardly have much time to spend it. That's what i call boosting the economy.

it hurts

i bent over grasping my shirt tight. the pain was unbearable. my eyes were red and wide open.
i tried to breathe as much as i can.. but the weaken body of mine could barely allow me to breathe anything but a tiny amount of air.

the pain was torturing as much as watching the freshness of my life seeping and flowing out of me. i could never imagine he could do that to me watching me slowly slipping away without helping me.

why would he help? he was the cause of it, the look on his face was a look i will remember. the eyes were full of pain and grieve yet with such redness of the devil. i caused the hatred that came from him, but i never knew it was my fault that resulted in my present state.

was it my fault that i wanted what was the best? what was supposedly good ?

the world turned dark and my vision blurred off , i saw the hands that ended my life . i saw the back that turned on me . thats all i saw. thats all i remembered.


"Lex ! Breakfast!"i groaned at the sound of my mum yelling.
"LEX!!! oh for goodness sake jonathan will you please eat with your mouth not your hands? honey if you are not leaving you will be late for work! goodness you guys drive me nuts at times ! LEX! Are you up?"

as i slide my feet into my bedroom slippers, i walked to my bathroom and washed up. i glanced at the mirror checking my features." yup, i am still me. nothing special happened to my looks to make things any different"

i was a freak at birth but my mum never admitted that i was one. my mum was beautiful and so are my brother and dad. i was an error at birth, i had shorter height than any average boy. my fingers are never able to count up to 10. my teeth are crooked and yellow. if i had a role in a movie, i would be a caveman in the ice age.

i was never allowed to think lowly of myself, mum never allowed any negative comments to be made about me. she would never mention how ugly i look, but every morning i look at her lovely green eyes i know how sad she feels about me.

"lex! for God's sake , would be a nice kid and stop making me yell at you almost every morning i have enough of that from your dad and your brother."

i sat down quietly, nodded my head and grabbed my cereal box and began filling my bowl. i took a quick glance at dad who briefly look at my way , straighten his tie and dragged jonathan out with him.

since i was a kid , well i still am. but when i was born my dad has hardly spoken to me much.
he was disappointed and has hardly brought me out . i could barely say anything to him even if i could, he would shift his blue eyes away from me. the only thing i inherited from him was his blue eye. yes eye not eyes , my other eye is green. i have one eye blue and the other green. i guess that was the only thing i thought was unique and beautiful about me. however every morning i wake up, something tells me eyes are not enough to cover up whatever was lacking in other areas.

sometimes when i am in church, i would bow my head and pray hard. " dear heavenly father, are you there? would you show mercy to me ? would you let me be loved?" and i just prayed. but nothing happened. sometimes i wondered whats that big guy doing , would there be something worse than me ?

i guess i am a brave kid, i haven't cried. well i guess at least not yet ? i would one day but not today not tomorrow. the world is still here for me, until the world turned its back on me . maybe just maybe , i might just give up and cry.
but for now , i want to be brave . bravery was the only way i can explain why i am still alive .